Wednesday, May 7, 2008

What's in a name??

Mommy, Aunt, Hey you????

Today the Mother of my youngest daughter called....yes the one that left two months ago. The last child we fostered and the child my heart yearns to hold and hug every single day, just about every minute. We built a relationship with her bio Mom over the two years we had her, we felt like that was in the best interest of our little girl. So she called today out of the blue just to see how we were holding up and how we are doing. Funny, when I got the message I didn't leap to call her back. Is that bad? But it was like making the choice to get back on a moving roller coaster or not. but then truly, how could we not?? in steps my knight in shining armor husband who immediately called her back for me!! But after chatting with him a few minutes, as was usual, she asked to talk to me. He explained I might not be able to talk, but I agreed to and now she is planning to have our beautiful little one call me on Mother's day she says. She has a visit with her on Sunday and said while she has her she will have her call us.

Sounds wonderful huh? But who do I say is on the phone?? Do I say "Hi Aaliyah it's Mommy" or what??? I have no idea......I don't want to upset anyone for fear I'll never hear her precious voice again. It's already been over two months since I've heard her, smelled her, or felt her.... MaryKyle the other day was crying because she said "I'm starting to forget what she sounded like"

So here we go....I don't know if she will really truly call or not....I could never ever ask for a better Mother's day if I can just stop dreaming of it and not allow myself to get too disappointed if she doesn't. Then if she does then what do you say when you have one more chance - maybe your last - to talk to your child??? pressure....

thus is my life...sorry to post my ramblings.


Emily said...

Rambling is what a blog is for! I can't imagine how tough fostering must be - but I am sure that it us rewarding too. I'll be thinking of you on Sunday.

Rachel said...

Thanks emily, it definitely has it rewards. I had two years with one of the most amazing little girls in the world that I would not trade for anything!!! Sadly the laws in this country (at least in GA) do not work in the 'best interest of the child' as much as some leaders believe that they do...yep that part is TOUGH! Have a Happy first Mother's day yourself my friend!!

Courtney said...

I'll be thinking of you on Mother's Day. What a great mom you are!